Last month I told my roommates I hadn’t watched Game of Thrones since season 3 and one of them slapped me.
I have since been sent 13 links to season recap videos—including this surprisingly (mostly) spoiler-free GoT recap from Samuel L. Jackson.
I’m a fan of the series (and I’ve since caught up), but before I could focus on the plot, I had a few important questions that needed to be answered. Namely, where’s the weed?
Is There Cannabis in Westeros?
The world George RR Martin built seems largely devoid of smoking. Unless the smoke is coming from a burning boat or building… or bay. Or bodies. Sure, there’s plenty of fire, but not a lot of psychotropic drugs under that fire. Which begs the question: does weed exist in Game of Thrones? Some people chew sourleaf—and that certainly sounds like a cannabis strain—but it seem more like chewing tobacco or even early uses of the coca leaf than marijuana.
Milk of the poppy is used for some of the same medical reasons as cannabis, and with similar frequency. But, the extreme withdrawal seen when Gregor Clegane misses a dose seems more like harder drugs than marijuana. And, shade of the evening causes visions and hallucinations, more akin to acid than pot.
One argument for the lack of smokeables is that the author built a medieval world, and smoking wasn’t a common vice in medieval Europe. Hemp rope is mentioned several times in GoT, and it stands to reason that the psychotropic benefits of cannabis have been discovered. It’s even possible sourleaf or milk of the poppy contain active cannabinoids in edible form. So, while cannabis may exist in the world—it doesn’t appear to be a key part of any character’s story. But who knows? Maybe Daenerys burns one down every night after a hard day of burning things down.
Who’s Getting Stoned in Westeros?
Who can be sure who is getting stoned in Westeros… aside from everyone with greyscale. But, here are our top 5 picks for most likely stoner in Westeros. Let us know who’s using dragonfire for good in the comments or on Twitter using the hashtag #FlameOfThrones.
1) Littlefinger
What better way to relax after a long day of scheming than with a fat joint between your little fingers? Since we haven’t seen any other characters smoking, we can assume the raw form of cannabis is extraordinarily rare or expensive. That’s Littlefinger’s game. And that’s a stoner’s smile if I’ve ever seen one.
2) Ygritte
You know what I do when I’m cold. Smoke. To be fair, that’s also what I do when I’m comfortable. The wildlings have used hemp rope, which means they might have access to cannabis, either through trade, raids, or their own grows (though climate control could be difficult). Ygritte has not only been chilling in the freezing cold, but she knows some shit.
3) Jaime Lannister
Just when things seemed to be going right for Jaime Lannister, things took a left turn. Not only would a bit of bud dull some of the pain and help Jaime focus, but rolling joints would help build up a little extra dexterity.
4) The Hound
Yes, the Hound has a bit of an issue with fire. But, he also appears to have pretty severe PTSD. Not only would marijuana help cool his hot temper, but he could use the exercise to slowly become more comfortable with fire in a controlled setting where he is rewarded for using fire.
5) Tyrion
Tyrion is a well-traveled man of pleasures. He has a way with words and values calm, thoughtful discourse over violence.
There you have it—my list of the top 5 most likely stoners in Westeros. I considered Sansa, but she tried it in college and didn’t like it. And Jorah isn’t a fan of getting stoned, for obvious reasons.
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